Tag Archives: inspiring

Restoration

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Restore me father.

I am the daughter of a king. I am born into royalty. I am heir to a throne. My dad made the universe. He is the greatest artist there ever was. He is the great I am!

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Expectations

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Remember to be true to yourself. Remember to keep realistic expectations of yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others expectations of you.

It’s okay to say no.

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It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to say no to someone you love. It’s okay to say no to a friend. ..

… you don’t ever have to settle for something or someone that doesn’t feel right. And you definitely don’t have to compromise yourself for the sake of making other people happy. You have to take care of yourself, and if that means saying no, it’s more than okay.

-Daniell Kopke

Bible journaling moleskine art

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This spread reflects a bible study I did in one of my older journals about walking around in the wilderness in Deuteronomy. Speaking of walking around in the wilderness, yesterday we went foraging for the first day of the new spring season. One of the locals said wild asparagus was ready. We looked for morels, wild onions, and wild asparagus. The asparagus wasn’t ready and we didn’t find a single mushroom. I did find a lot of wild onions. I made a salad for my husband and soup with my wild onions. Have you ever had wild onions? The top leaves can be cooked with the bottom onion with a lot of nutrients. Have you found mushrooms yet? I guess we’re about a month behind. I hope we don’t miss our season for mushrooms here entirely and go right into summer!

Ordinary Actions = Ordinary Results

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What time of day is it? Maybe time to put down the devices, shut off the internet and unplug? Ordinary actions equal ordinary results.

Doodleart in moleskine art journals

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Quotes in Journals

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. Winston Churchill

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something. Winston Churchill

Have healthy EI and self respect. Respond don’t react and set boundaries. Boundaries are the foundation of what you will and won’t allow in relationships and your own life. Be careful to set clear boundaries from the beginning not allowing anyone to push you in a direction you don’t feel comfortable going. What you allow in your life is what will continue.

Art journaling

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And somehow I found my happy somewhere between this sketch and my cup of coffee.

No one gets to take my joy or my happiness unless I first allow it. If your feeling stressed take a moment for yourself. Self care is important. Take time to do the things you love. You are valuable and loved. What kind of things make you happy? Ask yourself this simple question and make time to do at least one thing a day. What makes you happy? Make a list and please share something in the comments to inspire someone else!

A few of my favorite things to do include;

Time with my family (husband and kids)

Spending time outdoors enjoying the beautiful things god has made.

Jogging

Kayaking

A good workout at our fitness center

Travel, even a day trip

Journaling and art

What are yours?

Sunday doodles and messy chaos

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Sunday doodles and messy chaos.

From one of my older art journals back in 2016 is this journal spread full of doodles and writing. Not about anything particularly. Just rambles and doodles. A way of releasing stress and promoting positivity and creativity.

I think one of the bravest and boldest things in the world is when someone loves blindly without fear of rejection.

Writing and collage art

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Keep a journal for writing, for art, for everything that makes you happy. Life is meant to be enjoyed.

Get a notebook…a journal hat will last all time and maybe the angels may quote from it for eternity. #spencerwkimball

Habits of happy people.

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Habits of happy people.

Habits of happy people:

  • Ignore nonsense
  • Talk less
  • Learn new skills
  • Help the less fortunate
  • Laugh often
  • Wake up early
  • Make your bed
  • No entitlement

This is my story

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I was recently accused of not sharing my entire story. For all involved I have kept my account anonymous and I have not used names. I am sharing my story to help others who have been through adversity and need help. You are not alone. Everyone goes through something.

Avoid drama and avoid abuse. Your time is valuable. You are valuable. Don’t waste your time caring what others think or what others think about you. You can’t change the way others act or their thinking. Don’t try to understand those who think someone is always out to get them. Don’t try to argue your cause with those who always think their way is right especially if their ideas don’t add up. Nothing justifies losing time trying to reason with these types of people. People who attempt to project their problems and insecurities on you do so because they feel bad about who they are and or things they’ve done.

It has recently been brought to my attention that exes don’t like you sharing the truth even when you keep names completely exclusive. Which means also, that they have entirely too much time to seek out my account and read each of my journals.

This is my story and I’m going to share it. If you don’t like that I’m sharing it then stop reading my accounts, stop stalking me. I share this to help bring awareness to the fact that women are abused and there is more than one form of abuse. Abuse can be mental verbal and or physical.

I am here if anyone needs to talk and I’m here to answer questions and to help anyone for whatever they may be going through.

The long term affects can be traumatic for the children and family affected by domestic violence and any kind of abuse. It can also have long term affects for the abused. If you’ve been through something like this or believe you are I suggest finding an abuse counselor, or a good therapist.

It was also brought to my attention that though I shared this part of my life I didn’t share other parts of my life. Apparently, it was important for some people that I share that I had a problem with pain and medications.) so this is my story in its fullest.

I was diagnosed with cancer in 2005. I had squamous cell carcinoma, cancer of the head and neck with a tumor in my tongue. I was stage 3 and they were testing glands and lymph nodes for spreading. It had spread to my tonsils and largest glands in my neck. For those of you who don’t know, this means it was dangerously close to being stage 4 which means it had spread everywhere. My cancer dr told me before surgery he didn’t expect me to survive the surgery but if I did survive the surgery my chances for survival were very slim I’d survive the chemo and radiation treatments with surgery. I remember having strong faith and telling my drs I didn’t have a date stamped on the bottom of my foot.

Quickly let me share, I had homeschooled both my children until I was too sick to homeschool them anymore. My son started back to school testing on an 8th grade level in 5th grade and my daughter started kindergarten (which she already took one year of kindergarten through a homeschool program) with me teaching her at home and could read chapter books. I was a good mom and a good teacher. My ex husband at the time told me this until I left him and now I was/am the worst mom in the world who never cared for her kids or I would have never left.

Back to the treatments. I had the max amount of both, chemo and radiation. The surgery lasted fifteen hours and resulted in the removal of most of my tongue and the inside of my neck. It was then replaced with muscle and skin from my upper part of my leg. My neck was cut from one ear to the other and my tongue was pulled out of my neck and cut out after lifting my neck and part of my skin tissue up over my face. I lost all my hair and all my dignity. I was scared and determined to live. I wanted to be here for my children. I weighed 160 pre-surgery and weighed just under 80 lbs when the drs finally sent me home in the last stages of the illness. The whole process lasted a year including surgery and treatments. But the effects of treatments and surgery and chronic pain will last a lifetime. Once I started to recover I didn’t realize how much pain was involved. Each stage from the surgery, to each individual treatment to the recovery, each of these felt worse than the one before. It literally felt as if I had been through war. I could no longer swallow or eat. I had a feeding tube. I later had my throat stretched and slowly began to eat soft foods again. I will never speak normal again. Some days I’m so swollen I can’t be understood and I choke on soft foods. When I speak others think I sound like I’m deaf. I don’t have a moveable tongue but a flap of skin sewn to the floor of my mouth.

During this time my biggest struggle was the verbal and mental abuse I endured from my husband (now ex). I remember one time my ex told me if I ever left him he’d make sure I never had my daughter. He’s done a good job of that but he and his family has also been a large influence in my sons life as well. I love that my son has a family he fits in. However, my heart breaks for him knowing they have influenced and encouraged him to live without a relationship with his mom as well. He was communicating with me until he moved in to live with them and since then he has stopped talking to me. In cancer and marriage the battle was very real. I was in a lot of pain. Pre surgery my drs told me there would be a program and therapy to learn how to live a drug free life with pain. When the drs started me on pain medication I told them my fear was an addiction because a friend of mine who was a nurse told me this could be a concern for some people. I was assured there would be therapy to help me deal with any pain and stop taking the pain medications. That didn’t happen. I was home for a couple years still trying to make it through the days with new pains and a new way of life without any kind of therapy or treatment to learn how to live with pain. I was also dealing with a spouse who took credit for staying with me when I almost died while he was abusive verbally and physically. My neighbors told me he was unfaithful when I was in the hospital and everyone thought I was in my last days. I didn’t talk about the abuse or the things that happened with my friends because somehow I felt responsible for the abuse. I also didn’t want anyone to think bad about my husband, my children’s dad despite the things that had happened. Your supposed to love and forgive your spouse no matter what right? That’s the Christian thing to do right? I was also afraid if I left he wouldn’t let me see my daughter anymore because I didn’t know how to live with pain and without medication. And because that’s what he told me. That year a life changing event which involved the death of a mentor who died from cancer made me realize if I stayed I was only allowing myself to remain depressed and oppressed under stress and further subjecting myself to illness. And the constant fighting wasn’t good for the children. I had somehow convinced myself if I left I may lose my kids to him because he told me he would make sure it happened but also if I stayed I was sure the children would lose their mom to illness because I wasn’t changing my lifestyle. Each time I tried to leave he would tell me he was going to change but each time his behavior reverted back after a month of his new change. After the life changing event of the death of a friend I left for my moms house in another state. He came to my moms house and told me I had to have a court order to leave with her and took her back with him. He told me if I voluntarily signed the divorce papers giving him custody he would then allow her to come live with me the following school year. I signed the papers and she came to stay with me that summer only a month after she had returned with him. After summer was over she called her dad and told him she wanted to stay with me and he told her no that she would never live with her mother again. I know this because I heard him say it clearly while I sat next to my daughter while she made the phone call. She sat and sobbed as I held her when she got off the phone. Each year she has told me she’s never changed her mind about wanting to be with her mom but her dad wouldn’t let her go. I have loved both of my children with a love I can’t describe. If you have children you understand this love. I was at this point off pain medication with the help of family and friends and living without the daily stress of abuse. I am to this day free of taking pain medication. I’ve learned how to cope with chronic pain daily. I use my art to inspire others to find a new way to live life for whatever pain they may be going through. It hasn’t been an easy battle. I am sharing this because I am not ashamed and I am proud to share that I went through something terrible and I overcame. I am a survivor of cancer, of domestic violence, and pain medication.

I have sense been accused of walking away from my daughter. This was never ever the case. And if you knew me you would know I gave up college and everything to stay home and teach my children until I was diagnosed with cancer and could no longer teach. I was a good mom. I could have fought for her to live with me but my biggest fear was what he would do to her through verbal and mental manipulation and what he would do inside a courtroom to make me look bad further hurting her worse. A couple years ago she told me she was ready to fight. She was willing to go before a judge. She was sick of the manipulative things they did and said about me to her. We called an attorney and she changed her mind after she returned to his home. She told me she would wait until she could leave for collage rather than deal with going through all of the drama to leave when she only had a couple years left.

For anyone who has been through something life changing and needs help I’m here to listen. You can live a life of fullness. You are valuable. You do matter and life is meant to be lived. Don’t stop living for another person. Don’t allow another person to devalue you.

Today I enjoy a life free of prescription medications, a life free of drama and bullies. It’s a choice and one I had to make for myself. You can too. This is my story and I’m not ashamed of it because it happened. I’m happy it made me a better person and I’m stronger because it happened.

Positive vibes

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spreading some positive art vibes in this journal spread. A few art suggestions in a list.

• love what you do

• it doesn’t have to be perfect

• freedom in art is the ability to express yourself and relax

• enjoy your art

• express yourself through art as a form of therapy

• enjoy your talent and create freely

Writing and doodling

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Write it out. Sometimes I take notes when I’m reading books, other times I write from writing prompts, and sometimes I writer about life circumstances. I love to doodle and add collage art to my journal spreads as well.

Lists

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Making lists is satisfying rather it’s a list of things, a list of happy thoughts, or any other kind of list.

Because he loved me.

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I got lost in him and it’s the kind of lost that’s exactly like being found. -Claire Lazebink

The battle is real

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The real battle is in the mind.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Eph. 6:12 KJV

Lists sparking creativity

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Lists spark creativity Making lists in my art journals are similar to doing a brain dump for me. It helps me get stuff off my mind and sparks an idea for creating something else.

An artist journal is a journal kept by an artist as a visual of her thoughts and ideas. Art journals generally combine visual journaling and writing to create finished pages. Every immeasurable style is used by art journalists. [from mixed media club]

Brain dump

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Brain dump

What exactly is a brain dump? Well, on the days I have artist block because there’s far too many things on my mind it helps to write it all down somewhere. Sometimes I write it down inside my art journal and then I can create on other pages. And we’ll, if I don’t like it there I can always cover my words with a collage later. That’s the beautiful thing about collage and art. The things you can do are without limit.

Being an artist is great. It’s the one area in life where I don’t have to follow the rules and I can jot down, write down, or doodle anything I want in my journals. What do you do when you have artist block?

How to be beautiful

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How to be beautiful

  • Love deeply
  • Smile often
  • Forgive
  • Let go

Love yourself Are you capable of love? To have a beautiful heart you must love yourself first. Not in a selfish way but a secure self-love. One must have a beautiful heart capable of loving and forgiving others in order to be truly beautiful.

How does your heart look on the inside? Are you capable of loving another more than yourself? In order to do so you must love yourself first.

Asian Festival 2017

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Asian fest 2017

We attended Asian fest last year with my daughter and loved learning about new foods and about other peoples. There were so many different foods to try. I could only try the foods that weren’t spicy since radiation has left my mouth sensitive but the foods I tried I loved. I personally loved the bean filled desserts. I love learning about other people. My marriage is mixed and I love all of our differences. I wish other people could also find the joys in others as well. How boring the world would be if we were all the same and we didn’t have new opinions or foods to try. What is your favorite food? Your favorite place? Or culture? I think I love tropical places the most!

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. FDR

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The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. FDR

While studying the history of the Great Depression and dealing with anxiety resulting from chronic pain I made these journal pages a couple years ago. This was one of my favorite and mostly because the older I get the more I love history. I think history is a very important part of our lives. It’s important we don’t allow the most tragic of histories events repeat themselves. The best way of preventing those events are through studying and wisdom of those events. What is your favorite thing to study or learn about? I also love learning about other cultures, races, and peoples. The world is such an interesting place and so are it’s people.

Be yourself and don’t worry what others think.

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That moment when your scars are exposed and its ok.

This is my story and I hope you find encouragement to be you. Be you and don’t worry what others think. My neck is cut across the front from one side to the the other with burn scars. This is from cancer, radiation, and the removal of my tongue from cancer. I got my hair cut and the scars were exposed more than when my hair was long. For the people who notice my scars or my speech who are rude, I understand the problem is not mine but it is their ignorance and I know I’m blessed to be alive. So Its okay. Without a tongue I sound like I’m deaf when I speak and Its okay!

Art journal Flip Through

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Here is a flip through for your inspiration.

A collection of journal spreads

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Sharing ideas and inspiration for other artists who enjoy doodling, writing, and creating in journals. These are some of my favorite. a couple of these are the same. I didn’t realize I included identical spreads when I made the photos I’m sharing them anyway because there’s a lot of fun ideas worth sharing with other artists.

Women Make Art

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GIRLS WHO TALK BACK

She never looked nice. She looked like art and art wasn’t supposed to look nice it was supposed to make you feel something. (Unknown)

One Shipwreck Away From a Disaster

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One Shipwreck Away From a Disaster

Why do you care so much?

Why do some people make such a big deal out of something so small? Or cause drama when there was nothing in the first place? Answer, we live in a world with a lot of hurting people, a lot of insecure people, and a lot of unloved people. And, hurting people hurt people.

Our love and trust formed early in childhood by our parents. We learn to love from our parents example of love. If our parents have learned an unhealthy example of love by not bonding with a parent in their childhood or possibly a mental health disorder we have higher odds of that same cycle being passed down to us. Fortunately, we have the ability to become our own individual selves aside from our childhood examples or traumas. Knowledge is everything.

Books help us identify our ability to become all we can be and to become more. You can elude drama by loving yourself enough to walk away. Be strong and understand you don’t have to allow another person to hurt you because they have been hurt. Most times, sadly, the ones who hurt us the most are those were related to because we are closest to them.

I won’t go into detail about my diagnosis but I will say I’ve been through trauma and a near death experience with cancer. I live with chronic pain from the cancer and surgeries to remove the cancer. I’ve found journaling to be therapeutic. On days I feel the worst it helps just to write it out. Sometimes it’s uplifting to add bright colors. I’ve also found talking with a therapist I trust to be beneficial and reading to help also.

A couple of books my therapist suggested that I’ve found helpful are;

Children of the Self Absorbed by NinaW. Brown

Will I Ever be Good Enough by Karyl McBride

And a couple of books I’ve found are;

Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul T. Mason

Conflict Free Living by Joyce Meyer

And of course my favorite, the Bible, which has every kind of genre ever written.

Have you found useful tools helping you cope with cptsd, trauma, or other issues in your life? If you have, please share in the comments. You can help someone today.

You may be given a cactus but you don’t have to sit on it.

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A comment from Joyce Meyer ministries made my whole day. (JournalingArt on Instagram)

Vintage collage art and writing

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Write it out. It helps clear my head to write things down. These spreads are my favorite journal spreads, filled with antique details. Some of my favorite spreads are made from old magazines and post cards. What’s your favorite things to add to your art journals?

If our eyes saw souls.

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If only our eyes saw souls instead of bodies, how very different our ideals of humanity would be.

Devotion

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We can’t fully devote our hearts to God and keep our mind and body for our own purposes and desires. Sometimes I enjoy using my art journal as a journal to document my faith and stages or seasons in my walk.