Tag Archives: love

Doodleart in moleskine art journals

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Quotes in Journals

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. Winston Churchill

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something. Winston Churchill

Have healthy EI and self respect. Respond don’t react and set boundaries. Boundaries are the foundation of what you will and won’t allow in relationships and your own life. Be careful to set clear boundaries from the beginning not allowing anyone to push you in a direction you don’t feel comfortable going. What you allow in your life is what will continue.

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Art journaling

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And somehow I found my happy somewhere between this sketch and my cup of coffee.

No one gets to take my joy or my happiness unless I first allow it. If your feeling stressed take a moment for yourself. Self care is important. Take time to do the things you love. You are valuable and loved. What kind of things make you happy? Ask yourself this simple question and make time to do at least one thing a day. What makes you happy? Make a list and please share something in the comments to inspire someone else!

A few of my favorite things to do include;

Time with my family (husband and kids)

Spending time outdoors enjoying the beautiful things god has made.

Jogging

Kayaking

A good workout at our fitness center

Travel, even a day trip

Journaling and art

What are yours?

Sunday doodles and messy chaos

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Sunday doodles and messy chaos.

From one of my older art journals back in 2016 is this journal spread full of doodles and writing. Not about anything particularly. Just rambles and doodles. A way of releasing stress and promoting positivity and creativity.

I think one of the bravest and boldest things in the world is when someone loves blindly without fear of rejection.

Writing and collage art

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Keep a journal for writing, for art, for everything that makes you happy. Life is meant to be enjoyed.

Get a notebook…a journal hat will last all time and maybe the angels may quote from it for eternity. #spencerwkimball

Habits of happy people.

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Habits of happy people.

Habits of happy people:

  • Ignore nonsense
  • Talk less
  • Learn new skills
  • Help the less fortunate
  • Laugh often
  • Wake up early
  • Make your bed
  • No entitlement

This is my story

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I was recently accused of not sharing my entire story. For all involved I have kept my account anonymous and I have not used names. I am sharing my story to help others who have been through adversity and need help. You are not alone. Everyone goes through something.

Avoid drama and avoid abuse. Your time is valuable. You are valuable. Don’t waste your time caring what others think or what others think about you. You can’t change the way others act or their thinking. Don’t try to understand those who think someone is always out to get them. Don’t try to argue your cause with those who always think their way is right especially if their ideas don’t add up. Nothing justifies losing time trying to reason with these types of people. People who attempt to project their problems and insecurities on you do so because they feel bad about who they are and or things they’ve done.

It has recently been brought to my attention that exes don’t like you sharing the truth even when you keep names completely exclusive. Which means also, that they have entirely too much time to seek out my account and read each of my journals.

This is my story and I’m going to share it. If you don’t like that I’m sharing it then stop reading my accounts, stop stalking me. I share this to help bring awareness to the fact that women are abused and there is more than one form of abuse. Abuse can be mental verbal and or physical.

I am here if anyone needs to talk and I’m here to answer questions and to help anyone for whatever they may be going through.

The long term affects can be traumatic for the children and family affected by domestic violence and any kind of abuse. It can also have long term affects for the abused. If you’ve been through something like this or believe you are I suggest finding an abuse counselor, or a good therapist.

It was also brought to my attention that though I shared this part of my life I didn’t share other parts of my life. Apparently, it was important for some people that I share that I had a problem with pain and medications.) so this is my story in its fullest.

I was diagnosed with cancer in 2005. I had squamous cell carcinoma, cancer of the head and neck with a tumor in my tongue. I was stage 3 and they were testing glands and lymph nodes for spreading. It had spread to my tonsils and largest glands in my neck. For those of you who don’t know, this means it was dangerously close to being stage 4 which means it had spread everywhere. My cancer dr told me before surgery he didn’t expect me to survive the surgery but if I did survive the surgery my chances for survival were very slim I’d survive the chemo and radiation treatments with surgery. I remember having strong faith and telling my drs I didn’t have a date stamped on the bottom of my foot.

Quickly let me share, I had homeschooled both my children until I was too sick to homeschool them anymore. My son started back to school testing on an 8th grade level in 5th grade and my daughter started kindergarten (which she already took one year of kindergarten through a homeschool program) with me teaching her at home and could read chapter books. I was a good mom and a good teacher. My ex husband at the time told me this until I left him and now I was/am the worst mom in the world who never cared for her kids or I would have never left.

Back to the treatments. I had the max amount of both, chemo and radiation. The surgery lasted fifteen hours and resulted in the removal of most of my tongue and the inside of my neck. It was then replaced with muscle and skin from my upper part of my leg. My neck was cut from one ear to the other and my tongue was pulled out of my neck and cut out after lifting my neck and part of my skin tissue up over my face. I lost all my hair and all my dignity. I was scared and determined to live. I wanted to be here for my children. I weighed 160 pre-surgery and weighed just under 80 lbs when the drs finally sent me home in the last stages of the illness. The whole process lasted a year including surgery and treatments. But the effects of treatments and surgery and chronic pain will last a lifetime. Once I started to recover I didn’t realize how much pain was involved. Each stage from the surgery, to each individual treatment to the recovery, each of these felt worse than the one before. It literally felt as if I had been through war. I could no longer swallow or eat. I had a feeding tube. I later had my throat stretched and slowly began to eat soft foods again. I will never speak normal again. Some days I’m so swollen I can’t be understood and I choke on soft foods. When I speak others think I sound like I’m deaf. I don’t have a moveable tongue but a flap of skin sewn to the floor of my mouth.

During this time my biggest struggle was the verbal and mental abuse I endured from my husband (now ex). I remember one time my ex told me if I ever left him he’d make sure I never had my daughter. He’s done a good job of that but he and his family has also been a large influence in my sons life as well. I love that my son has a family he fits in. However, my heart breaks for him knowing they have influenced and encouraged him to live without a relationship with his mom as well. He was communicating with me until he moved in to live with them and since then he has stopped talking to me. In cancer and marriage the battle was very real. I was in a lot of pain. Pre surgery my drs told me there would be a program and therapy to learn how to live a drug free life with pain. When the drs started me on pain medication I told them my fear was an addiction because a friend of mine who was a nurse told me this could be a concern for some people. I was assured there would be therapy to help me deal with any pain and stop taking the pain medications. That didn’t happen. I was home for a couple years still trying to make it through the days with new pains and a new way of life without any kind of therapy or treatment to learn how to live with pain. I was also dealing with a spouse who took credit for staying with me when I almost died while he was abusive verbally and physically. My neighbors told me he was unfaithful when I was in the hospital and everyone thought I was in my last days. I didn’t talk about the abuse or the things that happened with my friends because somehow I felt responsible for the abuse. I also didn’t want anyone to think bad about my husband, my children’s dad despite the things that had happened. Your supposed to love and forgive your spouse no matter what right? That’s the Christian thing to do right? I was also afraid if I left he wouldn’t let me see my daughter anymore because I didn’t know how to live with pain and without medication. And because that’s what he told me. That year a life changing event which involved the death of a mentor who died from cancer made me realize if I stayed I was only allowing myself to remain depressed and oppressed under stress and further subjecting myself to illness. And the constant fighting wasn’t good for the children. I had somehow convinced myself if I left I may lose my kids to him because he told me he would make sure it happened but also if I stayed I was sure the children would lose their mom to illness because I wasn’t changing my lifestyle. Each time I tried to leave he would tell me he was going to change but each time his behavior reverted back after a month of his new change. After the life changing event of the death of a friend I left for my moms house in another state. He came to my moms house and told me I had to have a court order to leave with her and took her back with him. He told me if I voluntarily signed the divorce papers giving him custody he would then allow her to come live with me the following school year. I signed the papers and she came to stay with me that summer only a month after she had returned with him. After summer was over she called her dad and told him she wanted to stay with me and he told her no that she would never live with her mother again. I know this because I heard him say it clearly while I sat next to my daughter while she made the phone call. She sat and sobbed as I held her when she got off the phone. Each year she has told me she’s never changed her mind about wanting to be with her mom but her dad wouldn’t let her go. I have loved both of my children with a love I can’t describe. If you have children you understand this love. I was at this point off pain medication with the help of family and friends and living without the daily stress of abuse. I am to this day free of taking pain medication. I’ve learned how to cope with chronic pain daily. I use my art to inspire others to find a new way to live life for whatever pain they may be going through. It hasn’t been an easy battle. I am sharing this because I am not ashamed and I am proud to share that I went through something terrible and I overcame. I am a survivor of cancer, of domestic violence, and pain medication.

I have sense been accused of walking away from my daughter. This was never ever the case. And if you knew me you would know I gave up college and everything to stay home and teach my children until I was diagnosed with cancer and could no longer teach. I was a good mom. I could have fought for her to live with me but my biggest fear was what he would do to her through verbal and mental manipulation and what he would do inside a courtroom to make me look bad further hurting her worse. A couple years ago she told me she was ready to fight. She was willing to go before a judge. She was sick of the manipulative things they did and said about me to her. We called an attorney and she changed her mind after she returned to his home. She told me she would wait until she could leave for collage rather than deal with going through all of the drama to leave when she only had a couple years left.

For anyone who has been through something life changing and needs help I’m here to listen. You can live a life of fullness. You are valuable. You do matter and life is meant to be lived. Don’t stop living for another person. Don’t allow another person to devalue you.

Today I enjoy a life free of prescription medications, a life free of drama and bullies. It’s a choice and one I had to make for myself. You can too. This is my story and I’m not ashamed of it because it happened. I’m happy it made me a better person and I’m stronger because it happened.

Love story

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Your my love story, a story to/about my husband.

I saw you were perfect and so I loved you. Then I saw you weren’t perfect and I loved you even more. Angelita lim

How to be beautiful

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How to be beautiful

  • Love deeply
  • Smile often
  • Forgive
  • Let go

Love yourself Are you capable of love? To have a beautiful heart you must love yourself first. Not in a selfish way but a secure self-love. One must have a beautiful heart capable of loving and forgiving others in order to be truly beautiful.

How does your heart look on the inside? Are you capable of loving another more than yourself? In order to do so you must love yourself first.

Stories

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Writing about personal things. Funny story. We have a cat named Cheeto and he tries to hide in tissue boxes and gets his head stuck. He moves really slow like a sloth and when we hold him he’s really stiff like a board. The best story however, is the story about my superhero. I dream about him most night. I have nightmares a lot because of trauma and ptsd from cancer and childhood traumas. He rescues me in these nightmares. The best part is the way he loves me in real life. He’s my best friend and I’m so thankful for him.

The world needs more

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More Of Him

Seven is a perfect number. The Bible uses the number seven numerous times through the Bible. It is Gods number and God is perfect.

7= Perfection

You may be given a cactus but you don’t have to sit on it.

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A comment from Joyce Meyer ministries made my whole day. (JournalingArt on Instagram)

Devotion

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We can’t fully devote our hearts to God and keep our mind and body for our own purposes and desires. Sometimes I enjoy using my art journal as a journal to document my faith and stages or seasons in my walk.

Spirit of Love

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Walk by the Spirit of Love

Walk by the spirit of love. Be kind and love one another. Forgive and do kind things. These will be measured back to you. Who is the Spirit of Love? Or what? If you don’t know it’s The Father, God, The Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior. Walk in love and have peace in your heart and soul.

Fathers be careful how you treat your daughters.

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Choose your words and actions carefully, fathers, for those words and actions will influence who your daughter chooses to marry. If you don’t want her to be unhappy for the rest of her life show her how to love and don’t put those she loves down. Even if that at one point in your life, that which was exactly as you wanted, has changed and is no longer what you want, it’s still part of who she is and hurts deeply when you put the ones she loves down. This will be the greatest thing you can provide for your daughters, fathers. Be careful for your words can cut deeply and leave scars long after your done. She will look for the same dysfunctional type of love because it’s all she’s known and it’s what she’s familiar with. Her future spouse will put her down and treat her this way because it’s what she thinks is acceptable in her life. Most aren’t aware of what they’ve done or unwilling to accept they have played a part in this legacy. Don’t hurt her. Allow her to love. A child can never be loved by too many people or too much. Don’t allow your feelings to ruin her life because you hold hurt in your heart.

My Biggest Support

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This one right here is by far my biggest supporter of all things including my art, my health, and everything I do. He’s my soul mate and my best friend. I love to write and create spreads in my art journals about my husband. Hes the one I will grow old with. I love the way he loves me. I love that he makes me laugh. He spends time noticing the things that make me me and he makes me feel special. Every woman should be her husbands princess and he should be her superhero. He definitely is my superhero. Before we got together I wondered if people made love sound like it was more than it was. I wondered if having a soul mate was a real thing or if I could love or be loved.Yes, having a soul mate is a real thing and actually loving and being loved by your spouse does exist. For those who are single I t’s worth the wait. Wait on god and don’t rush getting into a relationship you may regret. Love isn’t always perfect but if you learn to love as an action, not just a feeling, putting Christ and your spouse before your own feelings (and this goes both ways) true love does exist.

Be Grateful for Everything, Especially the Small Things.

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Because I know you wake up and pick up your phone first thing to see beautiful things 💕, so here is a sweet story. I drew this when my daughter was still little and it was so hard to let her go. She was about to return to her dads house and my heart broke as I let her go. I realized how very little control we have over our lives. I’ve grown so much in these times. I cherish each moment with her more knowing our time is short. For this I have found gratitude. While others take for granted moments of joy in their lives I am thankful for even the smallest things in my life.

Art Journal Inspiration

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I found some older art journaling photos and wanted to share some of the pictures from my old moleskine. This was by far my favorite moleskine. It has the most colorful pictures of all my art journals. Do you ever go through different phases and look back through your journaling and remember what you were doing when you were making that journal? I had increased pain but I loved doodling and filling the pages with words and stories.

My favorite story I love sharing is my love story. My husband and I have been married six years this year but we’ve known each other since we were in kindergarten. He’s my superhero and my heart. “I want to get lost in this place” was making reference to my art journal. I was so in love with doodling on the nice thick moleskine pages. It brought me comfort during days when chronic pain was more than others. With increased pain I found comfort in this journal. Do you have a favorite journal or favorite spread? Can you remember what made it special? Please share.

Coffee Shop Creativity

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This is one of my recent journal spreads with some notes from my kids and a picture of my son when he was young. He’s grown with his own family now. It’s fun to have these reflections in my art journals. One day they will be passed down to my kids.

Yesterday I spent time in my favorite place journaling (a coffee shop) and stopped at Best Buy to pick up a Intsax SP-2 Printer. This year holds many travel plans for my husband and I. I wanted to document each memory in travel journals. I think the mini instax snapshots are beautiful in journals and can’t wait to make my first art journal entry using my new toy.

Above are a couple of test photos my husband printed when helping me set up the printer. The quality wasn’t too bad for mini pictures.

For fun, here are a few old Instant pictures from my childhood. Anyone else ride the chair train when their parents cleaned the house? Though, come cracking has occurred these old photos have held up through time. As you can see the new photos have better detail and quality, even for mini photos.

I’ll blog more about my journey with my new printer and share pics of completed journal spreads including the new mini instax photos. I’ll share some of my art journal ideas and hope to inspire some of you to create something in your art journals.

I loved the idea of the old style photo. I mean sure I could have used a phot filter app and sent my pictures to be printed at a local store. I wanted the whole experience of the instant print instax mini photos. When I was a child Polaroid photos were kind of a big deal. I remember waving the photo back and forth for quicker exposure. The anticipation and excitement of seeing the new image come to life was the best part. Polaroid photos were a new and exciting thing before images were available like today’s technology on smartphones, and digital cameras.

Do you enjoy old photos? Do you add pictures to your art journals or art diaries? I’ve added a few of my old photos of my children when they were young. It’s nice to have them added in my art journal. One day the kids will have these journals to return to read fun stories and memories of their childhood as I document some of the fun memories I had with them growing up. Comment below with ideas and suggestions from your art journals.

Love ❤️

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Don’t forget to love yourself for Valentine’s Day. Don’t be afraid to love yourself. You are important and you matter too. Much love and happy Valentine’s Day.

When it Snows

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It’s a beautiful winter wonderland outside today. I saw a squirrel digging in our backyard before the rain turned to ice. I love to see the squirrels play in our back yard. We have a large yard and an old farmhouse built in the mid 1800s. Now the ground is covered in a few inches of fluffy snow. A white silhouette of tree branches are visible with grey skies. The snow has stopped and the temperatures have plummeted to single digits.

The aroma of homemade chili has filled the house today. Its been a nice day to sit in our home movie room with a book, create journaling pages and reflectthe things I’m most thankful for with a cup of tea. My husband watched movies as we sit together in the comfort of a cozy home. Our kitty found a cozy spot in my basket I like to use to hold my books.

What do you do on days you have to stay in? Are you thankful for those days? I think they are the perfect time to enjoy time together with family and relax with a book or create something in an art journal. It’s always a good time to reflect on the many blessings in our lives. So many reasons to be thankful. What are you thankful for? Is it family? Health? Pets? Comfort? Security? Or peace in your heart? Love in your life? Take time to reflect the blessings in your life and be thankful.

Happiness is being with you.

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https://instagram.com/p/BeEknIHjIAW/

When you have your soul mate you don’t need anything else.

Wisdom

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Wisdom

Wisdom

The owl represents wisdom and the butterfly represents change and growth. Personal growth is important. Also important, taking authority over your thoughts, your words, and your life. Stay in His word and listen to positive words for a positive life. I always enjoy Joyce Meyer and her teaching.

Just Think

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Just Think

Just Think

Think for a moment. How would you like someone to treat you? Share love with others and watch the world change by your own acts of kindness toward others. Small acts of kindness change the world. Be the kind of person you would like to see in this world and make a difference for another person. Take a friend a cup of coffee, or the secretary at the office you have an appointment at today. Buy someone lunch or pick up a random persons tab. If you start with small acts of kindness you will begin to feel happiness as well and will move to larger acts of kindness.

Grow Old With Me

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Grow Old With Me

Grow Old With Me

When I grow old, I want to do it with you by my side. God prepared my story long before I was born and he included you in my story. I am so thankful for a God who loves me so much to include such an amazing husband in my story. With you, my dear it makes our story a fairy tail with a fairy tail ending. He never promised it would be perfect and its not. But, it is close and that’s more than I could have wished. Thank you God for my husband and our time together in this life.

Missing You Sweet Girl

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Missing You Sweet Girl

Missing You 

Ive missed you sweet girl. I’ve missed your big heart. Memories of summers and the last time I saw you fill my heart with joy. The way we laugh about nothing at all for hours on end, blesses my soul. We share the same querky spirit, love for Jesus, art, and books, querky spirit, faith, friendship, music, humor, and eyes. You have my heart daughter, my forever friend. Missing you and can’t wait to see you again.

In Need of a Vacation; Molskine Art

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In Need of a Vacation; Molskine Art

Art Journaling

I love to mix my art journal with fun inspiring quotes, bible verses, and sometimes I add personal prayers to my art journal. Most of all I love adding color with various materials and some collage from old magazines. IMG_20160419_151418Most of the time I insert the date and add either something personal about my day or something I would like to use to encourage or inspire others like an inspirational quote. This particular page was made on a cool day in the early spring when I was in need of a warm vacation. It was officially declared spring and it snowed the same week here. Journaling with art helps promote good health and happiness, especially when winter seems to take longer than it should. What’s in your Molskine?? For more of my art journaling check out my Instagram page, journalingart.