Tag Archives: Visual diary

Bible journaling inside my art journal

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seek and it will be given. Knock and it will be answered. He protects the innocent. He heals the broken. Guides the lost. He is your friend and your father.

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Restoration

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Restore me father.

I am the daughter of a king. I am born into royalty. I am heir to a throne. My dad made the universe. He is the greatest artist there ever was. He is the great I am!

Expectations

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Remember to be true to yourself. Remember to keep realistic expectations of yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others expectations of you.

It’s okay to say no.

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It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to say no to someone you love. It’s okay to say no to a friend. ..

… you don’t ever have to settle for something or someone that doesn’t feel right. And you definitely don’t have to compromise yourself for the sake of making other people happy. You have to take care of yourself, and if that means saying no, it’s more than okay.

-Daniell Kopke

Bible journaling moleskine art

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This spread reflects a bible study I did in one of my older journals about walking around in the wilderness in Deuteronomy. Speaking of walking around in the wilderness, yesterday we went foraging for the first day of the new spring season. One of the locals said wild asparagus was ready. We looked for morels, wild onions, and wild asparagus. The asparagus wasn’t ready and we didn’t find a single mushroom. I did find a lot of wild onions. I made a salad for my husband and soup with my wild onions. Have you ever had wild onions? The top leaves can be cooked with the bottom onion with a lot of nutrients. Have you found mushrooms yet? I guess we’re about a month behind. I hope we don’t miss our season for mushrooms here entirely and go right into summer!

Art therapy & writing

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Your going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in athis place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious before… These feelings can’t break you. They’re debilitating but you can sit with them and eventually they will pass. Maybe not immediately but sometime soon they are going to fade and when they do you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resistance. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass. #daniellekoepke .

Bible journaling and other thoughts

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I think if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than him. #cslewis Is there anything you haven’t forgiven yourself for? Today is a new day. The sun is out here, finally! I think I’ll go for a jog this morning. What will you do with your day? What’s your weather like wherever your at? #cslewis

Art is unique, each piece in its own way unique

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Unique each in its own way.

I’ve found in my art that each journal spread is so different from day to day. It all depends on the pain level I experience and my mood specific to that day. I love to look back through my art journals and reflect the way I felt while creating each journal spread.

One thing I have learned is on the days I feel depressed or like I don’t want to journal it helps to find a positive quote and meditate on a bible verse or something positive. I also enjoy reflecting back on colorful journal spreads.

Sometimes I journal about a good memory from childhood or my children. It’s always better to look back through journal spreads from the days I felt pain mental or physical and see something posi it rather than negative. What is your favorite things to find in your art journals? Do you like to look though your old journals and artwork?

Love story

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Love story

All they wanted to do was enjoy each other.

This is one of my favorite journal spreads. It’s simple and a love story. Its happy. Brings me to think of many joys in life, spring, flowers, gardening, warmer days, rainbows and friends. I started working in the garden this weekend. Today I made a fire pit all by myself. I was very proud of myself! I dug the hole and everything. I may have overdone it a bit but it was worth it. Do you enjoy gardening or have you been out to enjoy the spring and the beautiful weather?

Super

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Superpower

No one is me. That’s my super power.

I have many! I’m blessed as an artist, wife, and a Mom. What’s your super power?

Ordinary Actions = Ordinary Results

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What time of day is it? Maybe time to put down the devices, shut off the internet and unplug? Ordinary actions equal ordinary results.

Doodleart in moleskine art journals

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Quotes in Journals

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. Winston Churchill

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something. Winston Churchill

Have healthy EI and self respect. Respond don’t react and set boundaries. Boundaries are the foundation of what you will and won’t allow in relationships and your own life. Be careful to set clear boundaries from the beginning not allowing anyone to push you in a direction you don’t feel comfortable going. What you allow in your life is what will continue.

Art journaling

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And somehow I found my happy somewhere between this sketch and my cup of coffee.

No one gets to take my joy or my happiness unless I first allow it. If your feeling stressed take a moment for yourself. Self care is important. Take time to do the things you love. You are valuable and loved. What kind of things make you happy? Ask yourself this simple question and make time to do at least one thing a day. What makes you happy? Make a list and please share something in the comments to inspire someone else!

A few of my favorite things to do include;

Time with my family (husband and kids)

Spending time outdoors enjoying the beautiful things god has made.

Jogging

Kayaking

A good workout at our fitness center

Travel, even a day trip

Journaling and art

What are yours?

Travel Journaling

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If you can travel, always do! And make it fun. Document document document! Record all the fun memories and make the entire time a fun memory and memorable experience. Life will pass too quickly if you don’t make time to enjoy the life your given.

Traveling by plane or car can be the most tedious of the trip. So make it enjoyable even during the most tiring part of the journey. I often doodle or add to my travel journal on the way there or the way home rather we’re driving or flying. My husband and I enjoy both flying and driving equally. I used to hate driving but anywhere and anyplace with such an amazing and fun guy is great! I love my husband and the time we share together even in times most people would find it monotonous or tedious. He makes me laugh and he is my best friend.

Do you ever jump on a plane or drive for a spontaneous trip? We’ve done this a few times. Last minute we decided to travel. My husband works a lot of weekends and different hours so when we get a weekend off together it’s rare. We take advantage of a free weekend. We’ve enjoyed a local trip to Des Moines, an Iowa game and tailgating in Iowa city to watch the Iowa Hawkeyes play football, a last minute trip to Nashville and Memphis, and the twin cities. We often travel to St. Louis to meet our daughter. The trip could be a long one but we actually enjoy our time together and it’s become something we enjoy doing. Our favorite things have been finding new restaurants and fun places to explore. We recently visited family in Texas. That was a fun trip. I would suggest visiting magnolia market in Texas, the city museum, art museum science museum, zoo, ikea, and union station in St. Louis (don’t forget to try gooey butter cake), the mall of America, ikea, and the twin cities in Minnesota (try a pizza pie at Giordiano’s), and if in Iowa city stop for a zombie burger and an Iowa game. I would suggest the undead ched and my husband would suggest the undead Elvis. Prepare to take half your sandwich with you or take a friend to share because the burgers are huge! Don’t miss out on a shake from zombie burgers drink lab. I had the zombie unicorn! Amazing! If in Indianapolis make time for an outdoor concert or head over to Cincinnati Ohio for a weekend. Where do you enjoy a weekend getaway? If you haven’t been on a weekend getaway where do you think you’d like to start? I think I’d like to plan my next get away for Belize or somewhere less local to the US.

Sunday doodles and messy chaos

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Sunday doodles and messy chaos.

From one of my older art journals back in 2016 is this journal spread full of doodles and writing. Not about anything particularly. Just rambles and doodles. A way of releasing stress and promoting positivity and creativity.

I think one of the bravest and boldest things in the world is when someone loves blindly without fear of rejection.

Writing and collage art

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Keep a journal for writing, for art, for everything that makes you happy. Life is meant to be enjoyed.

Get a notebook…a journal hat will last all time and maybe the angels may quote from it for eternity. #spencerwkimball

Habits of happy people.

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Habits of happy people.

Habits of happy people:

  • Ignore nonsense
  • Talk less
  • Learn new skills
  • Help the less fortunate
  • Laugh often
  • Wake up early
  • Make your bed
  • No entitlement

This is my story

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I was recently accused of not sharing my entire story. For all involved I have kept my account anonymous and I have not used names. I am sharing my story to help others who have been through adversity and need help. You are not alone. Everyone goes through something.

Avoid drama and avoid abuse. Your time is valuable. You are valuable. Don’t waste your time caring what others think or what others think about you. You can’t change the way others act or their thinking. Don’t try to understand those who think someone is always out to get them. Don’t try to argue your cause with those who always think their way is right especially if their ideas don’t add up. Nothing justifies losing time trying to reason with these types of people. People who attempt to project their problems and insecurities on you do so because they feel bad about who they are and or things they’ve done.

It has recently been brought to my attention that exes don’t like you sharing the truth even when you keep names completely exclusive. Which means also, that they have entirely too much time to seek out my account and read each of my journals.

This is my story and I’m going to share it. If you don’t like that I’m sharing it then stop reading my accounts, stop stalking me. I share this to help bring awareness to the fact that women are abused and there is more than one form of abuse. Abuse can be mental verbal and or physical.

I am here if anyone needs to talk and I’m here to answer questions and to help anyone for whatever they may be going through.

The long term affects can be traumatic for the children and family affected by domestic violence and any kind of abuse. It can also have long term affects for the abused. If you’ve been through something like this or believe you are I suggest finding an abuse counselor, or a good therapist.

It was also brought to my attention that though I shared this part of my life I didn’t share other parts of my life. Apparently, it was important for some people that I share that I had a problem with pain and medications.) so this is my story in its fullest.

I was diagnosed with cancer in 2005. I had squamous cell carcinoma, cancer of the head and neck with a tumor in my tongue. I was stage 3 and they were testing glands and lymph nodes for spreading. It had spread to my tonsils and largest glands in my neck. For those of you who don’t know, this means it was dangerously close to being stage 4 which means it had spread everywhere. My cancer dr told me before surgery he didn’t expect me to survive the surgery but if I did survive the surgery my chances for survival were very slim I’d survive the chemo and radiation treatments with surgery. I remember having strong faith and telling my drs I didn’t have a date stamped on the bottom of my foot.

Quickly let me share, I had homeschooled both my children until I was too sick to homeschool them anymore. My son started back to school testing on an 8th grade level in 5th grade and my daughter started kindergarten (which she already took one year of kindergarten through a homeschool program) with me teaching her at home and could read chapter books. I was a good mom and a good teacher. My ex husband at the time told me this until I left him and now I was/am the worst mom in the world who never cared for her kids or I would have never left.

Back to the treatments. I had the max amount of both, chemo and radiation. The surgery lasted fifteen hours and resulted in the removal of most of my tongue and the inside of my neck. It was then replaced with muscle and skin from my upper part of my leg. My neck was cut from one ear to the other and my tongue was pulled out of my neck and cut out after lifting my neck and part of my skin tissue up over my face. I lost all my hair and all my dignity. I was scared and determined to live. I wanted to be here for my children. I weighed 160 pre-surgery and weighed just under 80 lbs when the drs finally sent me home in the last stages of the illness. The whole process lasted a year including surgery and treatments. But the effects of treatments and surgery and chronic pain will last a lifetime. Once I started to recover I didn’t realize how much pain was involved. Each stage from the surgery, to each individual treatment to the recovery, each of these felt worse than the one before. It literally felt as if I had been through war. I could no longer swallow or eat. I had a feeding tube. I later had my throat stretched and slowly began to eat soft foods again. I will never speak normal again. Some days I’m so swollen I can’t be understood and I choke on soft foods. When I speak others think I sound like I’m deaf. I don’t have a moveable tongue but a flap of skin sewn to the floor of my mouth.

During this time my biggest struggle was the verbal and mental abuse I endured from my husband (now ex). I remember one time my ex told me if I ever left him he’d make sure I never had my daughter. He’s done a good job of that but he and his family has also been a large influence in my sons life as well. I love that my son has a family he fits in. However, my heart breaks for him knowing they have influenced and encouraged him to live without a relationship with his mom as well. He was communicating with me until he moved in to live with them and since then he has stopped talking to me. In cancer and marriage the battle was very real. I was in a lot of pain. Pre surgery my drs told me there would be a program and therapy to learn how to live a drug free life with pain. When the drs started me on pain medication I told them my fear was an addiction because a friend of mine who was a nurse told me this could be a concern for some people. I was assured there would be therapy to help me deal with any pain and stop taking the pain medications. That didn’t happen. I was home for a couple years still trying to make it through the days with new pains and a new way of life without any kind of therapy or treatment to learn how to live with pain. I was also dealing with a spouse who took credit for staying with me when I almost died while he was abusive verbally and physically. My neighbors told me he was unfaithful when I was in the hospital and everyone thought I was in my last days. I didn’t talk about the abuse or the things that happened with my friends because somehow I felt responsible for the abuse. I also didn’t want anyone to think bad about my husband, my children’s dad despite the things that had happened. Your supposed to love and forgive your spouse no matter what right? That’s the Christian thing to do right? I was also afraid if I left he wouldn’t let me see my daughter anymore because I didn’t know how to live with pain and without medication. And because that’s what he told me. That year a life changing event which involved the death of a mentor who died from cancer made me realize if I stayed I was only allowing myself to remain depressed and oppressed under stress and further subjecting myself to illness. And the constant fighting wasn’t good for the children. I had somehow convinced myself if I left I may lose my kids to him because he told me he would make sure it happened but also if I stayed I was sure the children would lose their mom to illness because I wasn’t changing my lifestyle. Each time I tried to leave he would tell me he was going to change but each time his behavior reverted back after a month of his new change. After the life changing event of the death of a friend I left for my moms house in another state. He came to my moms house and told me I had to have a court order to leave with her and took her back with him. He told me if I voluntarily signed the divorce papers giving him custody he would then allow her to come live with me the following school year. I signed the papers and she came to stay with me that summer only a month after she had returned with him. After summer was over she called her dad and told him she wanted to stay with me and he told her no that she would never live with her mother again. I know this because I heard him say it clearly while I sat next to my daughter while she made the phone call. She sat and sobbed as I held her when she got off the phone. Each year she has told me she’s never changed her mind about wanting to be with her mom but her dad wouldn’t let her go. I have loved both of my children with a love I can’t describe. If you have children you understand this love. I was at this point off pain medication with the help of family and friends and living without the daily stress of abuse. I am to this day free of taking pain medication. I’ve learned how to cope with chronic pain daily. I use my art to inspire others to find a new way to live life for whatever pain they may be going through. It hasn’t been an easy battle. I am sharing this because I am not ashamed and I am proud to share that I went through something terrible and I overcame. I am a survivor of cancer, of domestic violence, and pain medication.

I have sense been accused of walking away from my daughter. This was never ever the case. And if you knew me you would know I gave up college and everything to stay home and teach my children until I was diagnosed with cancer and could no longer teach. I was a good mom. I could have fought for her to live with me but my biggest fear was what he would do to her through verbal and mental manipulation and what he would do inside a courtroom to make me look bad further hurting her worse. A couple years ago she told me she was ready to fight. She was willing to go before a judge. She was sick of the manipulative things they did and said about me to her. We called an attorney and she changed her mind after she returned to his home. She told me she would wait until she could leave for collage rather than deal with going through all of the drama to leave when she only had a couple years left.

For anyone who has been through something life changing and needs help I’m here to listen. You can live a life of fullness. You are valuable. You do matter and life is meant to be lived. Don’t stop living for another person. Don’t allow another person to devalue you.

Today I enjoy a life free of prescription medications, a life free of drama and bullies. It’s a choice and one I had to make for myself. You can too. This is my story and I’m not ashamed of it because it happened. I’m happy it made me a better person and I’m stronger because it happened.

Positive vibes

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spreading some positive art vibes in this journal spread. A few art suggestions in a list.

• love what you do

• it doesn’t have to be perfect

• freedom in art is the ability to express yourself and relax

• enjoy your art

• express yourself through art as a form of therapy

• enjoy your talent and create freely

Writing and doodling

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Write it out. Sometimes I take notes when I’m reading books, other times I write from writing prompts, and sometimes I writer about life circumstances. I love to doodle and add collage art to my journal spreads as well.

Lists

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Making lists is satisfying rather it’s a list of things, a list of happy thoughts, or any other kind of list.

Because he loved me.

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I got lost in him and it’s the kind of lost that’s exactly like being found. -Claire Lazebink

The battle is real

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The real battle is in the mind.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Eph. 6:12 KJV

Love story

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Your my love story, a story to/about my husband.

I saw you were perfect and so I loved you. Then I saw you weren’t perfect and I loved you even more. Angelita lim

Making lists.

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Making lists makes me happy. Especially lists of things I want to do, places I want to visit, and friends I’d like to see.

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Be neat here ↗️

Be messy here ↖️

Do what you want on these pages. ↙️

This is my space. ⬆️

I do what I like. ⬅️

To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world. Dr Seuss

Home is where the heart is.

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Summertime and front porch sitting.

This is one of my older journal spreads but I made it thinking of summer around the corner and anticipating sitting on the front porch. I love a porch with a porch swing and hanging plants. I love to hang my succulent plants once the weather changes. I have donkey tail and banana succulent plants. I also love hanging my airplane plants. They are so pretty hanging.

Today we’re headed to magnolia market for a day of adulting at the equivalent to adult Disney world! That’s what made me think to post this post since one side of the spread includes colorful decorating ideas. I love stacks of blankets and comfy homes. I can’t wait to see Joanna and chip Gaines store. I love their style and I love the way they get along on their show.

In love with Him.

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I thank god for my family and my husband.

When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew. William Shakespeare

Forgive and let go.

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Forgive and let go. Don’t take on another’s persons illness.

Please don’t get me wrong here. I personally fight depression and anxiety. I have stuff going on like anyone else. This is merely saying to let things go. If you spend time worrying about someone else’s anger you take on their problems or their illness. That person is angry or trying to hurt others because that person. Is hurt inside. Don’t allow what they are carrying inside to become your burden.

Lists sparking creativity

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Lists spark creativity Making lists in my art journals are similar to doing a brain dump for me. It helps me get stuff off my mind and sparks an idea for creating something else.

An artist journal is a journal kept by an artist as a visual of her thoughts and ideas. Art journals generally combine visual journaling and writing to create finished pages. Every immeasurable style is used by art journalists. [from mixed media club]